When "What's Right" Hurts

There is a black cat that hangs around my house.  The first time I saw her, she was doing her own thing, and I called out to her and she came!  She was very friendly and I grew fond of her; letting her into the house whenever I could.  Later, I noticed that she was pregnant, and I decided that I needed to take care of her.  I, with my husbands permission, took her in.  I was there for her and gave her the protection and care that she needed. 
When the day came for her to give birth, she wanted me right there with her!  She let me in on the whole birthing experience!  5 kittens were born.  1 died the next day and I was heart broken, but the 4 remained strong:  Tigger, Bully, Pa'a, and 'Uli.  They, along with "Mama" (that's what I call the mother cat), became my world!  I couldn't wait to get home to play with them and spend time with the little ones!  It was almost as if they were my own.  I loved them dearly, and things were going alright, for a while.
My husband got sick, and it was made apparent to me that we would not be able to take care of all of them.  My sister-in-law agreed to take in two: Tigger and Bully, but I didn't know what I was going to do with the rest.  My husband suggested to just put the rest of them outside.  Mama was an outside cat for all I knew, and she could help Pa'a and 'Uli.  So we put them outside.
Now our room is void of any furry creatures and it breaks my heart.  I knew we had to do it, but it doesn't make my heart hurt any less.  I feel like I just lost my family...because they were my family.  But I guess I have to be okay and look at the bigger picture.  And hopefully the pain will go away...